Saturday, April 14, 2012

Ah, Las Vegas

My recent trip to Las Vegas was my sixth visit to the international gambling Mecca, but I hadn’t been in years. Here are some of the lesser known truths about Sin City that I had forgotten.

1)      Get ready to wait in lines. The airport taxi cab line is longer than the wait for Space Mountain. It may be the worst, but is by no means the last line to encounter for a weekend in Vegas. The buffet, the nightclub, and even the card room are often protected by monstrous, snaking queues that challenge your resolve to enter.

2)      Taxi cabs can be unpleasant. Up front, next to the driver in a full cab, I was bombarded with the aroma of a week-old, soiled, adult diaper. One member of our group climbed into a back seat and found his hand in a fresh puddle of love pudding. Always look before you sit! For a full night on the town, limos are worth it.

3)      You don’t actually need sleep. Coming from the east coast instantly throws your internal clock out of whack. No, the casinos don’t pump in pure oxygen, but the city runs on the swirling mess of adrenaline produced by lust and greed. It is very hard to get more than four hours of rest at a time. Meh. Sleep when you are dead.

4)      People get cranky when they lose. I should have remembered this one. While everyone smiles upon arrival, the faces are not nearly as cheery waiting at the terminal for departure. The city is built upon the graves of losers. Get a long last look; it may be awhile before you return.

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