Dealer Errors: "Do the Right Thing"

Anyone who has played a decent amount of blackjack knows dealers make the occasional mistake. They are typically quite rare, but they happen more frequently than a lot of people suspect. Changing player cash, adding hand totals, blackjack payouts: there is a lot of math to keep track of, and dealers are as human as us all. 

In fact, on my recent trip to Vegas, dealers made errors in both of my first two blackjack sessions. An experienced dealer, distracted by conversation, paid my pushed 17 and the next day a dealer swept my bet into the rack on another push, only to get corrected by me. Investment in attention pays good dividends.

The worst, and rarest dealer mistake I’ve encountered occurred at Harrah’s in Murphy, North Carolina. It’s a decent sized casino, although a baby compared to the monolithic mega-casinos of Vegas. I had just picked a $25 table to begin another session, laying $200 on the felt in front of me. The dealer spread the five $20 and two $50 bills, and proceeded to stack THREE hundred in chips!

“Changing three hundred,” he called to the pit critters behind him. I had to casually double check the math in my head a couple of times, before concluding the $50 bills, as relatively uncommon, had thrown him off. As often happens, the pit boss was busy and didn’t visually verify the payout; this time the lapse in procedure cost them $100.

I retold the experience to a non-gambling friend of mine, and she asked me if I did “the right thing.” Although it was opposite her meaning, I assured her that I very much did “the right thing” and kept the money. 

I will not feel weepy for a casino that pays me too much money. Casinos are not philanthropic entities, insuring social well-being; they are predatory, and exist mostly to relieve suckers and addicts of their money. In fact, that mistake was virtually my only win for the evening. 

There were three other players at the table, and I’m not sure they noticed, but they certainly joined my silence. I’m pretty sure the couple beside me briefly discussed the event in Chinese, before leaving the table a short time afterwards. I played for about half hour myself, and then went for a late dinner.

“Aren’t you worried the dealer will get in trouble?” my friend continued. I reasoned that if the casino makes these kinds of mistakes in the front of the house, I can only imagine what kind of shenanigans operate away from the public eye. Ray Charles might be head of surveillance. 

At the end of the evening, I changed my chips at the cashier. The young guy briefly chatted as he counted my money. “Counting money all day is hard. Sometimes your brain sees different than your eyes,” he remarked. We chuckled as I folded the bills in my wallet. 

“Weird,” I responded with a smile, and left for my truck in the night air.

This Bet Is Yuuuge (Part 2)

As I struggle to find a reason to ever get out of bed again, I ruminate upon the largest bet I’ve ever lost. Yeah, Trump’s upset cost me $750; I’ve lost bigger poker pots, but never a single bet. The real loss makes the even mention of money profane.

I’ve never been more wrong in my life; and, the world literally burned around me. Controlled wildfires in the woods around Chattanooga filled the air with smoke, irritating the lungs, with local officials recommending people stay indoors. Then, Gatlinburg, Tennessee’s vacation Mecca, burned to ashes.

The 2016 presidential election represents a previously unfathomable betrayal. But worse, this loss is a death, more accurately a national suicide, with Trump as the bullet exploding the country’s brain. America is dead, it’s proud democracy a failure.

Voters and political pundits discounted Trump’s rhetorical skill, refusing to acknowledge the 4^th grade vocabulary and gorilla speak of a schoolyard bully. But now, even the educators, professional thinkers and talkers, must relearn a painful lesson: fear and rage are often more powerful than logic and empathy.

People mocked Trump’s business acumen, listing a litany of failed enterprises, scams, defaults, and bankruptcies: nearly a billion dollar loss in a single year. They laughed at his vague assertion that he “makes the best deals,” while he weaved his most sinister one before their eyes: a 60 million vote con-job.

But, how would a gambler handle the national tragedy? Double down…

Now, the glimmer of impeachment has begun, I may get some money back. I put money on Trump not making it through his four years. I get double if he doesn’t live through it. It’s the first time, to my recollection, I have bet on someone’s death; and I’m certainly NOT cheering for anyone to die, buuuuuttt I do stand to make a couple extra bucks. Fast food is not a good diet, golf carts are not exercise, and Trump is past average life expectancy. Tick, tock mother fucker.