This Bet Is Yuuuge (Part 2)

As I struggle to find a reason to ever get out of bed again, I ruminate upon the largest bet I’ve ever lost. Yeah, Trump’s upset cost me $750; I’ve lost bigger poker pots, but never a single bet. The real loss makes the even mention of money profane.

I’ve never been more wrong in my life; and, the world literally burned around me. Controlled wildfires in the woods around Chattanooga filled the air with smoke, irritating the lungs, with local officials recommending people stay indoors. Then, Gatlinburg, Tennessee’s vacation Mecca, burned to ashes.

The 2016 presidential election represents a previously unfathomable betrayal. But worse, this loss is a death, more accurately a national suicide, with Trump as the bullet exploding the country’s brain. America is dead, it’s proud democracy a failure.

Voters and political pundits discounted Trump’s rhetorical skill, refusing to acknowledge the 4^th grade vocabulary and gorilla speak of a schoolyard bully. But now, even the educators, professional thinkers and talkers, must relearn a painful lesson: fear and rage are often more powerful than logic and empathy.

People mocked Trump’s business acumen, listing a litany of failed enterprises, scams, defaults, and bankruptcies: nearly a billion dollar loss in a single year. They laughed at his vague assertion that he “makes the best deals,” while he weaved his most sinister one before their eyes: a 60 million vote con-job.

But, how would a gambler handle the national tragedy? Double down…

Now, the glimmer of impeachment has begun, I may get some money back. I put money on Trump not making it through his four years. I get double if he doesn’t live through it. It’s the first time, to my recollection, I have bet on someone’s death; and I’m certainly NOT cheering for anyone to die, buuuuuttt I do stand to make a couple extra bucks. Fast food is not a good diet, golf carts are not exercise, and Trump is past average life expectancy. Tick, tock mother fucker.

This Bet Is Yuuuge

In a lifetime of gambling, I’ve bet on some pretty unusual and fairly important outcomes before: careers, relationships, pregnancy…long term wagers that affect lives. But I don’t suppose any speculation I’ve done to date can measure with this race for President of The United States, in the year of our Lord 2016.

Early in the festivities, way before the Trump clown army ramped into full gear, I was desperate to go big (BIG) against the Cheeto-colored buffoon, and his hands so tiny, they’d struggle to lift one decent moral fiber.

I could never find any players who wanted to swim in the deep end, but I did give up some big odds on a couple smaller bets that should just about cover my titanic bar tab that will float me through the dark night.

Trump never had a chance. Logic tells us a country that twice elected Obama will not suddenly turn racist and trust the most important political office in the world to a bigoted con-artist. Plain and simple, if you voted Trump, you are on the wrong side of history, aligned with the weakest, slug-like creatures that slime their way blindly through the excrement of our national soul.

And no, I’m not particularly overjoyed with Secretary Clinton either, but I live in a solid red state, so my vote doesn’t really matter much, thanks to the Electoral College process. Bare bones minimum, she’s qualified for the job of running my country, but I didn’t vote for her either.

But, I’m gonna be louder than hell when she wins; and I'm gonna hoist round after round to the cheers of “You’re Fired!” ©