In a lifetime of gambling, I’ve bet on some pretty unusual
and fairly important outcomes before: careers, relationships, pregnancy…long term
wagers that affect lives. But I don’t suppose any speculation I’ve done to date
can measure with this race for President of The United States, in the year of
our Lord 2016.
Early in the festivities, way before the Trump clown army
ramped into full gear, I was desperate to go big (BIG) against the
Cheeto-colored buffoon, and his hands so tiny, they’d struggle to lift one decent
moral fiber.
I could never find any players who wanted to swim in the
deep end, but I did give up some big odds on a couple smaller bets that should
just about cover my titanic bar tab that will float me through the dark night.
Trump never had a chance. Logic tells us a country that
twice elected Obama will not suddenly turn racist and trust the most important
political office in the world to a bigoted con-artist. Plain and simple, if you
voted Trump, you are on the wrong side of history, aligned with the weakest,
slug-like creatures that slime their way blindly through the excrement of our
national soul.
And no, I’m not particularly overjoyed with Secretary Clinton
either, but I live in a solid red state, so my vote doesn’t really matter much,
thanks to the Electoral College process. Bare bones minimum, she’s qualified
for the job of running my country, but I didn’t vote for her either.
But, I’m gonna be louder than hell when she wins; and I'm gonna hoist round after
round to the cheers of “You’re Fired!” ©
